Saturday, December 31, 2011
new year, new design
I've used the same blog template for 4 years. It's hard to believe that 4 years have passed and I've used this blog to chronicle our family life. With the approach of 2012 and our impending move across the pond, I thought it was time for a new look. And perhaps a new name may be in order... more on that in the days ahead. Anyway, I'll try out the rainy look for a while, then maybe switch it up. Stay tuned...
Saturday, December 17, 2011
birth pains
There is a lot of stuff going on right now. As we get ready for Christmas and our big move you could imagine our family being swept up in a storm, consumed by the chaos around us and unable to control our actions and emotions. But the funny thing about being in the middle of something like a storm or even childbirth, is the clarity that comes when you least expect it.
They say all sorts of stuff about being in a storm... Like it's calm in the eye of the storm or there's a calm before the storm. I don't know much about true storms. In this part of California we don't have much crazy weather, our only natural disaster claim to fame is earthquakes and there's no warning, or calm before or calm in the eye of it. There's only aftermath. I think birth is like a storm, a coming experience that will change you, test you and prove you.
2000 years ago an entire nation was on the move, everyone heading to his hometown to be counted in a census. Sheesh, giving birth in the middle of that movement would put a girl on edge. But then the most peaceful, life-giving thing happened. The Savior was born.
3 years ago we had just moved. My body was a storm, a hostile environment for a baby. We were on edge, praying for calm, normal blood pressure and liver and kidneys that would hold on for 37 weeks. I remember being on bed rest, trying my best to pray for peace while my head buzzed with ache and I could feel my blood racing through my body. Our baby girl was delivered, she was the most peaceful, sweet presence, but I continued to expand into a puffy marshmallow. Medicine and the sweetness of Hayden eased me back to normal and we were finally able to go home.
Today, everyone asks us how things are going, I think they expect us to be drenched by a storm. We are happy to report that God is holding us in the calm eye of what could be a Category 5 hurricane. We are experiencing peace and joy as we prepare of Christmas and prepare for the birth of our new life in Scotland. Like any pregnant woman, we are both nesting and going through crazy de-cluttering streaks. We are filled with anticipation and hope. We are constantly reassuring the kids that we will love them through this transition, that the new arrival will not disrupt our family, but make us stronger and more united in love.
I'm excited about our new birth. Sure, it will disrupt life as we know it, it will be a BIG move, it will be a bit painful, and it will cause some tears. But our family will never be the same and for that I am grateful.
Friday, November 18, 2011
bittersweet
I'm still processing concepts from our time at SPLICE. And I'm also doing that really lame thing where you think of what you should have said and it's always way better than what you actually said. I'm specifically thinking of our survey/comment card thingies we filled out on the last day. I wish I had recommended the word "bittersweet" to replace the concept of "paradox".
I like bittersweet. I especially like it in regards to food. Bittersweet chocolate, salted caramel, kettle corn, you know, all of those foods that taste good because they spark more than one taste on your tongue. The Grahams had a bag of candy corn mixed with dry roasted peanuts. Genius.
Paradox was ok. And that "pair of ducks" was pretty cute too. But just think about how great it would have been to discuss the concept while eating!
I must be really hungry right now. Sorry about that. But the point is, I appreciate the idea that you can't have one without the other. And in fact, one is better because you had the other in your life and vice versa. Let me unpack that:
When we drove away from MTI the kids were in the backseat, waving to everyone as we pulled out of the parking lot. But as we drove further away, their joy turned to grief and they began to wail. I don't remember a time when both of my kids were crying like that when it didn't involve injury or punishment. Their mourning was deep and powerful, it broke me and I wanted to fling myself over the seat to wrap my arms around them and shield them from the pain. In that moment as their hearts were breaking I realized that they felt this immense pain because they had opened up their hearts to love so deeply. They could not have the great sorrow without the great love.
Do you ever think about where you were the first time you heard a song? I do that a lot. The first time I heard the song "Blessed be your Name" was at a memorial service. For a baby. Let that sink in as you scan through the lyrics. I remember seeing the mother in the front row with her hands lifted up as she sang. The lyrics HAD to be true, otherwise she had no hope. We have to bless the name of the Lord when the sun is shining down on us and on the road marked with suffering. He has to be the God of both, otherwise we have no hope.
I appreciate the SPLICE paradox as we move into this season of holidays. We are doing our best to make this holiday season special for everyone because in a short time things will be different. I'm afraid though, that many of or friends and family will dwell on the sadness side of our departure and I want to encourage everyone to live on both sides of the paradox. Would you consider rejoicing with us?
We are rejoicing in the midst of leaving. We are rejoicing because God has asked us to do something different and we have no greater joy than walking down the road that He has prepared for us. We are rejoicing because we have the opportunity to fully appreciate the depth of our love for YOU as we experience the heartache of leaving YOU.
Sheesh, my keyboard is soggy.
It's the reason Darren needs a large cup of coffee to make it through a slice of cheesecake. You need both tastes to fully appreciate the dessert. This is our God. He gives and takes away. Blessed be His name.
I like bittersweet. I especially like it in regards to food. Bittersweet chocolate, salted caramel, kettle corn, you know, all of those foods that taste good because they spark more than one taste on your tongue. The Grahams had a bag of candy corn mixed with dry roasted peanuts. Genius.
Paradox was ok. And that "pair of ducks" was pretty cute too. But just think about how great it would have been to discuss the concept while eating!
I must be really hungry right now. Sorry about that. But the point is, I appreciate the idea that you can't have one without the other. And in fact, one is better because you had the other in your life and vice versa. Let me unpack that:
When we drove away from MTI the kids were in the backseat, waving to everyone as we pulled out of the parking lot. But as we drove further away, their joy turned to grief and they began to wail. I don't remember a time when both of my kids were crying like that when it didn't involve injury or punishment. Their mourning was deep and powerful, it broke me and I wanted to fling myself over the seat to wrap my arms around them and shield them from the pain. In that moment as their hearts were breaking I realized that they felt this immense pain because they had opened up their hearts to love so deeply. They could not have the great sorrow without the great love.
Do you ever think about where you were the first time you heard a song? I do that a lot. The first time I heard the song "Blessed be your Name" was at a memorial service. For a baby. Let that sink in as you scan through the lyrics. I remember seeing the mother in the front row with her hands lifted up as she sang. The lyrics HAD to be true, otherwise she had no hope. We have to bless the name of the Lord when the sun is shining down on us and on the road marked with suffering. He has to be the God of both, otherwise we have no hope.
I appreciate the SPLICE paradox as we move into this season of holidays. We are doing our best to make this holiday season special for everyone because in a short time things will be different. I'm afraid though, that many of or friends and family will dwell on the sadness side of our departure and I want to encourage everyone to live on both sides of the paradox. Would you consider rejoicing with us?
We are rejoicing in the midst of leaving. We are rejoicing because God has asked us to do something different and we have no greater joy than walking down the road that He has prepared for us. We are rejoicing because we have the opportunity to fully appreciate the depth of our love for YOU as we experience the heartache of leaving YOU.
Sheesh, my keyboard is soggy.
It's the reason Darren needs a large cup of coffee to make it through a slice of cheesecake. You need both tastes to fully appreciate the dessert. This is our God. He gives and takes away. Blessed be His name.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
different is just different
(Jason and Cameron at the Denver Aquarium, near the tiger ?! exhibit)
Cameron is no longer allowed to use the word "weird". At SPLICE we learned that "different is just different", it is not weird, bad, unusual, strange, awful or any other word with a negative connotation. And so now, whenever our family encounters something that is different, we have a new mindset.
(Cam strikes a mermaid pose on one of the climbing rocks at the awesome MTI playground)
The problem is, WE are different.
(Jason soaked up every minute of the Air Force Academy tour)
I realized on the long drive home that we are now the ones who are different. We are the ones who are leaving the comfort of the known for the discomfort of the unknown. We are the ones whose hearts ache for new friends scattered across the globe. We are the ones who have been changed by our time away.
(The kids riding a buffalo, as all Coloradans do, at the Garden of the Gods Visitor Center)
You at home are not weird, bad, unusual, strange or awful for not having this calling. You are different from us. We need you to be different. We need you to love us, support us and pray for us. We need you to be different.
(The girls were prepared for trick-or-treating and the SPLICE gang was ready and waiting at every door. Jason was out with his friend's family for a birthday party.)
From now on we will be different. We will be those strange missionaries who come "home" but feel awkward because this is no longer our home. Our kids will have cute accents. We will spell words incorrectly.
(Brian and Emily are Hayden's new best friends. They are serving with Kids Alive in the Dominican Republic.)
So the question is: are you ready for this? Are you ready for the difference? Will it change our relationships?
(Cam and her new friend Emma. Now when she says, "Mom, I wanna go to Uganda SO BAAAAAAD!" she has another very good reason.)
Or will you continue to check out this blog, send us emails, reply to our statuses on facebook, and love us from across the pond?
(We all froze at the Grand Canyon. Here Hayden does her best to keep her hood on.)
We promise we'll write back. We promise to love you back.
(The kids take a break from walking at the Hoover Dam. Insert dam joke here.)
Because really, difference can be a good thing. And different can just be different.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
What about the kids?
Are you wondering what the kids are doing while we are in class? Well, so am I! At the end of the day we get mini reports from the kids about what they learned that day. They are having a great time here, so I thought I'd share just a bit of what I know.
Hayden is in a 2's and 3's class. In her words, "there's 5 kids in my class, but Sadie Fletcher is not in my class.". Poor baby, she misses her best friend! She has a lovely teacher named Michelle. During the mornings the kids have a lesson, do a craft, sing and have snacks. She is learning a "Hayden-sized" version of what we are discussing in our classes. For instance, when we were discussing transition or stress she is learning "God cares for me". She is getting a solid foundation in who loves her and how she can be confident in that no matter where we go. In the afternoons the kids have to lay down for a nap time and that is NOT going well for Hayden. She hasn't had an official nap in nearly a year and she cannot understand why she must start now. They have all kids rest here because the altitude affects everyone and requires more rest than usual.
Cameron is thriving here, well, in class anyway. In the cafeteria she is struggling. I think she ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch for every meal the first 2 days we were here. I went to the store and bought here some Cam food, so she should have some balanced meals from now on. Anyway, in class, she is thriving. Cam is in a class with 2 other girls and she is loving her time with them. She marches into class every morning with no looking back so I am confident that she is comfortable here. Cam's lessons go a little deeper and she is learning to express her feelings better. I am grateful for this new vocabulary and the help in understanding how she is processing our transition time. Today both Cam and Jason's classes went on a surprise field trip. The excitement of the unknown was building for two days until today they realized that the unknown can contain really great things. The kids were taken to Garden of the Gods, a natural wonder of Colorado and they were able to learn, explore and climb.
Jason's class has three kids in it, one other boy and a girl. The three kids get along very well and they spend all of their spare time together. In fact right now they are in a fierce air hockey battle. He is learning so much about cultural differences and how to express himself. He will also be learning conflict resolution, friendship skills and many other skills that he can carry over to his new life abroad. I think Jason is a learning sponge and this time is fun for him. The kids will have two more field trips and they are very excited for them.
This time for the kids is invaluable. As a home school mom I constantly worry about how they will adapt to group situations, classroom dynamics or other authority figures. So far, so good. I am daily encouraged that our decision to home school didn't mess them up! I am also encouraged that our call to the mission field won't mess them up either. My home schooled, PK turned MKs will be all right!
Hayden is in a 2's and 3's class. In her words, "there's 5 kids in my class, but Sadie Fletcher is not in my class.". Poor baby, she misses her best friend! She has a lovely teacher named Michelle. During the mornings the kids have a lesson, do a craft, sing and have snacks. She is learning a "Hayden-sized" version of what we are discussing in our classes. For instance, when we were discussing transition or stress she is learning "God cares for me". She is getting a solid foundation in who loves her and how she can be confident in that no matter where we go. In the afternoons the kids have to lay down for a nap time and that is NOT going well for Hayden. She hasn't had an official nap in nearly a year and she cannot understand why she must start now. They have all kids rest here because the altitude affects everyone and requires more rest than usual.
Cameron is thriving here, well, in class anyway. In the cafeteria she is struggling. I think she ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch for every meal the first 2 days we were here. I went to the store and bought here some Cam food, so she should have some balanced meals from now on. Anyway, in class, she is thriving. Cam is in a class with 2 other girls and she is loving her time with them. She marches into class every morning with no looking back so I am confident that she is comfortable here. Cam's lessons go a little deeper and she is learning to express her feelings better. I am grateful for this new vocabulary and the help in understanding how she is processing our transition time. Today both Cam and Jason's classes went on a surprise field trip. The excitement of the unknown was building for two days until today they realized that the unknown can contain really great things. The kids were taken to Garden of the Gods, a natural wonder of Colorado and they were able to learn, explore and climb.
Jason's class has three kids in it, one other boy and a girl. The three kids get along very well and they spend all of their spare time together. In fact right now they are in a fierce air hockey battle. He is learning so much about cultural differences and how to express himself. He will also be learning conflict resolution, friendship skills and many other skills that he can carry over to his new life abroad. I think Jason is a learning sponge and this time is fun for him. The kids will have two more field trips and they are very excited for them.
This time for the kids is invaluable. As a home school mom I constantly worry about how they will adapt to group situations, classroom dynamics or other authority figures. So far, so good. I am daily encouraged that our decision to home school didn't mess them up! I am also encouraged that our call to the mission field won't mess them up either. My home schooled, PK turned MKs will be all right!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Splice @ MTI
Welcome to the wonderful world of missions acronyms! The title of my post is the name of the program we are attending (splice) and our location (Mission Training International). Most of you loyal readers know that we have gone to Colorado this month, but I'm sure not many of you could explain why! We are here for training on how to leave our home culture and enter a new one. It may seem excessive to do training when we are going to an English speaking, western culture, but already we can see that this time will be a great benefit to us and we are glad to be here.
We drove for three days to get here, and the kids have been great. Not every moment, but for the most part they have been good travelers. Our first leg of the journey was on Friday and we drove from home to Las Vegas. The kids loved the lights on the Strip. Cameron kept exclaiming,"I LOVE Las Vegas!". Hayden kept asking, "is this Disneyland?". Jason was impressed with the giant sphinx, the Eiffle Tower, and the Statue of Liberty.
The second day of our trip was from Vegas to Green River, Utah. The drive was beautiful at times and incredibly boring at other times. The kids were very disappointed because the town and hotel were not nearly as exciting as Vegas. The third day we drove to Denver. The drive over the Rocky Mountains was spectacular. We especially enjoyed the Eisenhower tunnel. We arrived at our hotel and were happy to celebrate our arrival with a dinner at Chili's. The next day we had some free time before our check in at MTI so we took the kids to the Denver Aquarium. We saw the Mermaid Show and I'm pretty sure that the girls are now aspiring to be mermaids when they grow up!
I am very sorry that I forgot to pack the cord that connects the camera to the computer. When we get home I'll do a post of all pictures from the trip. Until then Darren will have to post pictures to Facebook for all the grandparents to get their fixes :)
We drove for three days to get here, and the kids have been great. Not every moment, but for the most part they have been good travelers. Our first leg of the journey was on Friday and we drove from home to Las Vegas. The kids loved the lights on the Strip. Cameron kept exclaiming,"I LOVE Las Vegas!". Hayden kept asking, "is this Disneyland?". Jason was impressed with the giant sphinx, the Eiffle Tower, and the Statue of Liberty.
The second day of our trip was from Vegas to Green River, Utah. The drive was beautiful at times and incredibly boring at other times. The kids were very disappointed because the town and hotel were not nearly as exciting as Vegas. The third day we drove to Denver. The drive over the Rocky Mountains was spectacular. We especially enjoyed the Eisenhower tunnel. We arrived at our hotel and were happy to celebrate our arrival with a dinner at Chili's. The next day we had some free time before our check in at MTI so we took the kids to the Denver Aquarium. We saw the Mermaid Show and I'm pretty sure that the girls are now aspiring to be mermaids when they grow up!
I am very sorry that I forgot to pack the cord that connects the camera to the computer. When we get home I'll do a post of all pictures from the trip. Until then Darren will have to post pictures to Facebook for all the grandparents to get their fixes :)
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
field trippin'
This week I declared a break from formal school work. We have completed 9 weeks of curriculum (one quarter) and the kids and I are zombies. I wanted to take some time to enjoy learning so this week we are taking a different approach.
Step one: Hit the library. No, not the San Miguel library, the one that's the size of my living room with all the same books that we have been reading for the past 3 years. We went to the big city and checked out books and movies about things that interest the kids. For Cameron, we found art, ballet and fashion design books. For Jason, we found books about how stuff works and history. Every morning this week we have spent a leisurely morning reading and enjoying our special interests.
Step two: Get out of the house! This is a big deal for me. With the recent death and resurrection of our car I had spent WAY too much time cooped up in the house with my lovely children. On Monday we went to Avila Valley Barn for some apple picking and today we strolled around the grounds of the San Miguel mission.
I think the kids and I need two kinds of field trips. We need trips that are fun. These trips like apple picking appear to be only for our enjoyment but they secretly open the kids eyes about where food comes from and how it takes a lot of work to get it from the orchard to their plate. The second kind of trip we need is one that makes connections. I need to express to my kids that the history in their books is real and actually happened. We can walk the grounds of historic places and talk about so many things. Today Jason and I discovered that the California mission system was developed during the late 1700's to early 1800's. Our mission was founded in 1776, the same year that the boys back in Philadelphia were literally sweating out our country's founding documents. We also made connections between the mission and the cathedral he had visited in Glasgow. We call our mission a "poor man's cathedral". It is the same design idea constructed with our local materials (clay and straw).
While Jason made a lot of connections today, I could see that Cameron was still in fact finding mode. She was creeped out while we sat in the sanctuary and talked about the pictures on the walls. She liked the idea of Bible stories in paintings so that illiterate people could understand, but she DID NOT like the all-seeing Eye of God staring down at her from the front of the sanctuary (picture a fluffy cloud with sunbeams bursting out from behind it--not bad, but then in the middle of the cloud is a gold triangle with a giant eyeball staring out into the room). She also had a big problem with the musty smells of the buildings :)
Tomorrow and Friday we will have more adventures. Until then we will enjoy our fresh homemade applesauce and plenty of good books!
Step one: Hit the library. No, not the San Miguel library, the one that's the size of my living room with all the same books that we have been reading for the past 3 years. We went to the big city and checked out books and movies about things that interest the kids. For Cameron, we found art, ballet and fashion design books. For Jason, we found books about how stuff works and history. Every morning this week we have spent a leisurely morning reading and enjoying our special interests.
Step two: Get out of the house! This is a big deal for me. With the recent death and resurrection of our car I had spent WAY too much time cooped up in the house with my lovely children. On Monday we went to Avila Valley Barn for some apple picking and today we strolled around the grounds of the San Miguel mission.
I think the kids and I need two kinds of field trips. We need trips that are fun. These trips like apple picking appear to be only for our enjoyment but they secretly open the kids eyes about where food comes from and how it takes a lot of work to get it from the orchard to their plate. The second kind of trip we need is one that makes connections. I need to express to my kids that the history in their books is real and actually happened. We can walk the grounds of historic places and talk about so many things. Today Jason and I discovered that the California mission system was developed during the late 1700's to early 1800's. Our mission was founded in 1776, the same year that the boys back in Philadelphia were literally sweating out our country's founding documents. We also made connections between the mission and the cathedral he had visited in Glasgow. We call our mission a "poor man's cathedral". It is the same design idea constructed with our local materials (clay and straw).
While Jason made a lot of connections today, I could see that Cameron was still in fact finding mode. She was creeped out while we sat in the sanctuary and talked about the pictures on the walls. She liked the idea of Bible stories in paintings so that illiterate people could understand, but she DID NOT like the all-seeing Eye of God staring down at her from the front of the sanctuary (picture a fluffy cloud with sunbeams bursting out from behind it--not bad, but then in the middle of the cloud is a gold triangle with a giant eyeball staring out into the room). She also had a big problem with the musty smells of the buildings :)
Tomorrow and Friday we will have more adventures. Until then we will enjoy our fresh homemade applesauce and plenty of good books!
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