What just happened?

This week was a whirlwind.  For months I had known that Hayden would start primary 1 this week but only recently did we decide to send Jason to school as well.

We had always said that we would evaluate each child every year for their individual school needs.  This summer Jason expressed interest in going to secondary school (jr/sr high) after completing the coming school year.  He is interested in computers & sciences which are not my strong subjects so I thought this was a good idea.  After thinking about that transition for some time we thought it might be better if he had a re-introduction to school life ( he had previously attended kindergarten at a private school) at the primary level & get to know some of the kids that will make the transition with him to secondary next year.  

Although he has done well to transition into life here in Glasgow we have noticed that his circle of friends is small.  He lights up whenever he gets a chance to Skype with friends from California and that's great, but we really wanted him to have more connections with local kids.  

All that to say, on Monday we walked into the school office to see if there was a spot in the p7 class for Jason.  And so my mind has been blown by culture shock once again.  The school was not open over the summer.  Teachers & staff reported in on Monday and school started Wednesday.  I filled out one form and the deputy head told us to show up Wednesday.  On Wednesday Jason and I stood outside with all the other parents and kids.  When the bell rang the kids ran inside while the parents waited outside.  The school is enclosed in one giant building, no sprawling campuses here!  I took Jason over to the main door where the new head teacher was welcoming in the students.  I introduced her to Jason, who she was expecting, and she whisked him inside to his class.  So the strange thing is  that I have not met his teacher.  I only know vaguely where his classroom is because I took the school tour with Hayden on her induction day.  This all feels so unnerving to me to lose so much control in one fell swoop.

He was a bit uncertain the first day.  He likes his teacher and enjoys time in the classroom.  He finds lunch to be too long (one hour!) because he's not in on all the games & such.  By the end of the second day he could see glimpses of hope that things would get better.  By Friday afternoon he was smiling and admitted that he might have had a bit of fun.

I have been overwhelmed by how much this has affected me.  I've come to realise that Jason has grown into a friend and I miss him so much!  Our school time had matured from instruction to discussion and I have loved learning along with him.  Since he's started school though he's asked for me to sit with him & chat before bed so those sweet times have soothed my heart quite a bit.

Hayden is loving life right now.  Not only does she love school, but she also loves getting ready for school.  She is the official lunch packer & school-clothes-layer-outer of the family.  Since she had induction days we are familiar with her classroom and play area.  I hope she continues to enthusiastically enjoy school.

Cameron is at home with me this year.  I wouldn't be surprised if this is her last year.  Right now she is loving my full attention.  We start our academic work on Monday.  During these first days for the other kids she and I have been working on sewing projects & other things around the house. She is back in gymnastics again and starts up Brownies in a few weeks.  I think this year with her will be a special time to polish her skills and learn more about her heart.

So here we are, navigating the new world of school culture in Scotland.  It's already been a rough time trying to homeschool in a culture that is so unfamiliar with the idea.  I've been dealt the harshest blows of criticism from the Christian community which of course is disheartening.  I've spent hours trying to evaluate the two cultures, thinking perhaps American Christians fall victim to fear of the government or perhaps British Christians don't care enough.  I don't have any conclusions in the matter, I'm just trying to do what's best for my kids who are doing their best to live in these two worlds.  

~~ let's still be friends regardless of where you stand in the school debate, okay? ~~

Summer wrap up (part 2)

In July we had visitors.  Grammy & Papa came to see us and we stayed busy with lots of touring. We split up so the boys could go to Muirfield for the Open and the girls went to Culzean Castle.

We also had a great day on Loch Lomond.  We took a cruise to one of the islands, hiked a bit & even dipped our toes in the water!

Summer wrap up (part 1)

Believe it or not, summer is nearly over.  The kids return to school in less than 2 weeks and already there is an autumnal breeze in the air.  Here's a brief recap of our summer adventures.

What better way to celebrate the end of the school year than by going to the Scotland Street School Museum? There was a kids activity on about pirates & searching for treasure & such, but the whole thing was led by a creepy couple overacting their way through the museum and making my kids jittery.  After the activity we had a bit of fun on our own.  Here the girls share a desk in the Victorian classroom.

The building was designed by Charles Rennie Macintosh.  I enjoyed the beautiful windows & tiles inside.

We also had the great opportunity to watch jousting at Linlithgow Palace.  What a great show, beautiful palace and fantastic weather!

We spent a lot of time at our local parks.  I was so afraid that the warm weather wouldn't last!

Darren spent his summer teaching at church.  

And Cameron and I made a quilt.  Well, mostly Cameron ;)

End of the school year... finally

Today was Hayden's graduation from nursery.  The children had a little party and then the parents came into the hall where the children performed their special songs.  The children leaving nursery for primary school were given certificates.  It was lovely as you would expect.  Hayden and her sweet friend Sophie happily posed for pictures with their teacher Ms. Muir.

I am more than ready for this school year to be over.  I think the burn out hit its peak last night at midnight as I sat sobbing on the edge of my bed, filled with regrets over the things we didn't accomplish in our school with the big kids.  Looking back on it in the light of day I see how ridiculous it was, but in the moment I was overcome with panic.  Yes, I panic.  I worry just as much as the mom who works and juggles her children between daycare & school.  I need to remind myself that we are all in this "doing-the-best-we-can-with-what-we-have" place.  It's parenthood.  I also need to remind myself that we are raising our children in a different culture and their education will look different than their peers in the US.  Deep breath.  They're going to be OK.

So today I packed away all the school books.  I'm hiding everything school related until August.  In July I just want to enjoy my kids.  Here in the UK the summer holiday is only 6 weeks, and I intend to relax as best I can.  I replaced the school boxes with my scrapbook & craft boxes and hope to get a bit creative over the next few weeks.  

16 again

For the past 2 months, Darren and I have been working on obtaining our UK drivers' licenses.  This process has not been easy, in fact, we're still in the midst of it and feel crushed by the whole thing.

When I was 15 I took my written test at the DMV and failed.  I cried.  I cried because up to that point I hadn't really failed at anything.  I don't mean to be obnoxious, but that's just the way things had been going for me.  I did well in school, I was ok at sports, I won awards and generally was well-liked.  I hadn't experienced failure and didn't know what it was like.  I felt rejected by the DMV-- didn't they like me?  I picked myself up, read through the little booklet and took the test again.  Pass.

When I was 16 I took the driving test.  It was a short 15 minute drive around a quiet neighborhood in Paso Robles.  Easy stuff, but it felt like the most important test of my life.  I passed.  Now, 20 years later, with a clean driving record, no tickets or major accidents I am in that place again.

Here in the UK driving seems to be a BIG DEAL.  Drivers here seem to be very safe, considerate and consistent.  While driving here for the first time I realized how aggressive I was and it took some time to calm down.  I have come to appreciate the UK system and want to be a part of it.  But now, as we go through the process, the whole thing feels like a very exclusive club and it's hard getting in.

The theory and practical tests here are rigorous.  I studied for hours and took several practice tests in preparation for my theory test.  After much stress and study, I passed.  Now I'm on to the next step, the practical test, 45 minutes in the car.  I'm going to schedule a few lessons so I can get some help in understanding what they are looking for in the test.

It all looks so simple when I type it out and re-read what I've written.  But the real problem lies in the culture stress that we are experiencing.  For a year we've been learning about life here and easing our way into it.  At the one year mark, we expected to feel like we accomplished something and year two would be easier.  But here we are, faced with a driving test and the big message we are hearing is "you don't belong here, you're not one of us!"  Culture stress is when your core beliefs rise to the surface and you see them in the light of your new culture.  As an American, I have a deep sense of my rights.  I believe that I am a good driver and I should have the right to drive anywhere I want all over the world.  But in reality, my license says that I only have the right to drive in the US.  I earned that right there, not here.

The other problem with culture stress is that affects your calling.  It is very hard to serve and love the people that God has called you to when you are mad at their culture.

All these feelings remind me of being 16 again.  A 16 year old is desperately trying to prove that they are ready for adulthood and all the responsibilities included.  Its so frustrating because when I hit my thirties I finally felt like I had made it to adulthood and the struggle was over.  But now, here I am in a foreign country, trying to earn my driver's license and feeling 16 again.

The good news is that this is just a speed bump on our journey through life in the UK (bad pun intended).  We will get through this, we will pass our tests, we will drive again.  Until then we struggle with stress.  Its really no bother not driving, everything we need is within walking distance and public transportation is great.  The struggle lies in dealing with the stress gracefully and to that end we pray and ask that God would use this to refine our character into something that pleases Him.

I look forward to writing again and letting you all know when we pass!

one year

Yesterday was our one year anniversary in Glasgow.  A couple of times I was asked what I thought of this first year, the highs and lows.  I really struggled to answer.  Then this morning, Cameron woke up crying because she couldn't decide which was better, California or Glasgow.  In some ways she is our voice, she says aloud all the things Darren and I process internally.  And she does it in dramatic, 7-going-on-17 fashion.  So I thought I'd take some time to process what this first year has meant to me and my family.

First of all, I have to confirm that despite the highs and lows we have a deep sense of knowing that we are in the right place.  And on bad days, we dig deep to cling to that calling so that the emotions don't overwhelm us and send us into the fetal position.  Some days you meet with people and walk away feeling like you just participated in a divine appointment, and a life was changed.  Other days, you walk away from a meeting realizing that the only good that came from that meeting was a decent cup of coffee.  When I look back on the full year I feel a deep sense of honor that God would use us here, and I am reminded that we aren't meant to be sprinters in His kingdom but marathon runners, constantly striving to steadily press on.

After calling, I have to express a deep feeling of gratitude for the team in Glasgow.  It would have been understandable if they treated us cautiously, waiting for us to fail and sending us back home without getting hurt themselves.  But God has done an amazing work in assembling a group of people who are willing to be vulnerable, open to new friendships and graciously easing us into life in Scotland.  We had amazing Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations with these people and at the end of both evenings my heart was full.  They've pulled us in as family and helped us establish a new home here in Glasgow.  I don't mean to be overly gushy, because they are human beings with failings and mistakes, but it has been and honor to walk beside them through the highs and lows of this year.

While it is nice to be surrounded by new friends and family, it doesn't mean that we have forgotten the people we left behind.  It has been difficult to miss weddings and memorials.  It has been painful at times to see facebook photos of events we can't attend.  This year we lost Grandma Jean and we gained a new sister-in-law, a niece and a nephew.  But at the same time, we've celebrated weddings here, welcomed new babies and gained the joy of caring for baby Sophie once a week (by the way, Tuesday is now called "Sophie Day").  In no way has the "old" been replaced by the "new", but somehow by God's grace we get to have both.

The cultural experiences have been high and low.  Let's face it, we're in Scotland, surrounded by castles, how cool is that?!  We have had a blast exploring the country, learning the history and enjoying the beauty of this place.  But at the same time we've struggled with the weather.  It's dark here, cold, and constantly wet.  But the gusto with which people greet the sun and temps over 60F is absolutely invigorating.  It seems as if the whole city drops whatever they're doing and goes outside, filling up the parks and cafes (there's an unfortunate amount of skin that is revealed on these days, but honestly, who can blame them? you've got to get as much vitamin D exposure as possible, right?).

The food, the spelling, the transportation, the laundry.... I could go on and on about the highs and lows.  I guess I just want to ask for grace from you, reader.  I don't know how to concisely answer the question, "how was your first year?".  When I look back on this blog post I think my best answer is that I am grateful.  I am grateful that God would ask my family to go and experience all these highs and lows along the way as we pursue His kingdom.

more autumn happenings

At the end of October we experienced our first Halloween here in Scotland.  In years past we've attended or worked at some sort of church sponsored "harvest" festival and so our kids have always seen Halloween from a sanitized view.  This year was different!

We had a pizza dinner with our friends then visited a few of their neighbors for some "guising".  When the kids knocked on the door to trick-or-treat they were invited inside to perform a joke or song before they were given candy.  I thought this was great fun and was really impressed with the kindness of the people we met.

Here the little princesses are examining their loot.

The leaves have nearly all fallen to the ground by now and the city is a slimy, leafy mess!  It was nice to experience true autumn colors and be overwhelmed by the beauty n the midst of the city.

The girls and I have been caught up in the dancing competition, "Strictly Come Dancing".  Its the same idea of the US version, "Dancing with the Stars".  At the start of the series we had no idea who the celebrities were, but as the weeks have gone on we have grown to love Denise & James and Kimberly & Pascha.  

 This weekend we did a little hiking at Loch Lomond.  At first the kids were a bit whiny because we bundled them up and pried the electronic devices out of their hands, but after a few minutes on the trail they were happily exploring.  The girls came home with special rock collections and Jason established himself as our scout, always in the lead on the trail.  It feels like every time we go out for an adventure we discover another need for keeping the kids protected from the elements.  This time it was discovering the holes in the girls' boots.  It seems like things were so much easier when we lived in the land of flip-flops!

We are entering the dark days now, as the time change happened and we are marching toward winter.  On days when we see the sun it only skims across the horizon and never reaches the top of the sky.  When the cloud cover is thick our whole day is gray and 2:30 in the afternoon feels like dinner time.  The days are short!  We drink endless cups of tea, hot chocolate & coffee, sit by our fireplace and play board games.