Tonight I had a great idea: family movie night! We spread out a blanket on the floor, set out our Taco Bell feast and popped a video into the VCR. We had been given a copy of "Gordy" and I thought this would be the perfect night to watch. Boy, was I wrong! What's the deal with kid's movies? Why must the main character (always a kid or young animal) be immediately orphaned? And then they embark on an adventure to find the true meaning of family, their inner strength and their sense of humor. Has anyone sat down with a very sensitive 5 year old to watch one of these things lately? We were barely 5 minutes into "Gordy" when I looked over to see Jason's lips quivering and his eyes welling with tears. "Can we turn it off please?" I thought maybe another pig movie would be just the ticket to restore his faith in cinema so I put in "Charlotte's Web" (the old animated version). I had to encourage him to hang on and wait just a few more minutes until Fern's dad agreed to let her keep Wilbur instead of killing him because he was a runt. Good grief, what were we going to do when Charlotte died? I am very glad that Jason is such a sensitive kid. How is it that I've forgotten all the awful circumstances that set the stage for so many classic kid movies? I guess I should be grateful for the Cedarmont Kids although I've been gritting my teeth lately with every song that they sing. The Cedarmont Kids made a huge lines of videos in the early 1990's. Every video is about 30 excruciating minutes of overacting, hand motions and sickeningly sweet kid songs (just remember King's Kids and you're halfway there). Cameron and Jason sit glued to the couch in a vegatative state every time they watch one of these DVD's. And just our luck, the local library just got a new copy of Silly Songs (a Cedarmont joint) so we've been the 1st, 3rd, and 4th people to check it out so far.
Well, movie night ended up a bust. By now you've probably guessed that Cameron took off to find something more interesting to do (where there's silence...there's trouble, and somehow she colored my knee blue) and Jason took up coloring while Wilbur was at the State Fair. I fell asleep on the couch(thus the blue knee) and Darren checked in with his fantasy baseball stats. Maybe next Friday night I'll try Family Movie Night again, only this time I know to stick with the wholesome Cedarmont
Kids.... and stay away from pigs!