Wednesday, August 27, 2008

injuries, cow births, bedhead... and more!

I've been plagued by injuries lately.  This isn't any surprise to me because I'm a pretty clutzy person, don't let my athletic physique fool you, I can trip with the best of them.  This morning though, I awoke to my second sleep-induced injury in the past week.  Last week I jerked awake after a nightmare and wrenched my neck.  That one left me doing the heat/ice routine for days and avoiding backing out of parking spaces.  This morning I awoke to a major shoulder pain brought on by the annoying pregnancy mandate of sleeping on your side.  I hate sleeping on my side (fist punches the air)!  I hate to skip my morning workout (insert sarcastic tone here) because I don't want to miss the stupid jokes on my DVD ("Do you have the bullets for my guns?").  Maybe this is a good time to ditch Bob and order a new DVD.   My other injuries include a nice slice on my calf as I was taking out the trash yesterday (I still maintain that taking out the trash is a BOY job, not a GIRL job, but this girl can't wait for the boy to get home sometimes) and stubbing my toe on a doorway this morning ("Do you need a Dora band-aid mom?"  "No, Cam, there's no blood.").  Sorry for all the parenthesis but there's a lot going through my head whenever I get injured!

Last night I hear Darren watching TV in the bedroom ("OOOOOHHHHH!  Man!  Hahahahahha!  Jen, you've got to see this!").  I go in and find him watching "Dirty Jobs".  Mike Rowe is assisting in cow births.  Seriously, I DO NOT need to see this.  So of course I settle in on the bed and peek out from behind the pillows occasionally.  If you've never heard a cow in labor it's pretty much the same noise Chewbacca makes in Star Wars.   Mike's just getting the hang of it (set your foot up on the cow's belly for leverage as you pull the calf out by its hooves) when the vets have him assist with a cow C-section.  Again, I DO NOT need to see this.  It's like a car wreck, you slow down to take a look even though you know you shouldn't.  I'll have these images with me forever.  I don't think Sierra Vista uses these same techniques, so that's good.  And I know they don't make me lick the baby to clean it up after it's born, so again, another plus for human medicine.  Apologies to all my ag-tastic relatives, but yuck!  This confirms my discomfort around animals once and for all!

Jason woke up this morning with rock-star quality bedhead.  I took the kids swimming yesterday (instead of battling mini-vans in a loading zone we were swimming, yeah homeschool!) so that didn't help with the state of his hair this morning.  I thought I'd document it for proof of what I get to deal with every morning.  Cameron had to get in on the picture taking, so here's a shot of her.  See if you can make out the shiner under her right eye.  Her face met up with Jason's foot in a wrestling match ("but she started it!").


Sallie said...

That is one note-worthy case of bedhead! Wow! That should be scrapbooked! As for the cow births, as long as Darren doesn't try to use any of the techniques during your labor, I think we are safe. But do try to find another show to watch together!

Love, Mom

Darren said...

A couple of notes from the husband:

1. Taking out Trash IS a boy job this boy does. Thank you for noting how sometimes you can't wait. I don't want emails from people griping about how I make my pregnant wife take the trash out.

2. Don't under-estimate the potential protein available to you by licking your newborn clean. Don't knock it 'til you try it.

Sallie said...

Darren - Are you going to try it first????

Hilary said...

The kids comment, "what mommy?" to my laughing out loud at my mental image of you licking your newborn clean. I didn't explain, so they were still, "WHAT, mommy?"

Melinda said...

LOL! Jen, if ever I need a quick pick-me-up, I just read your BLOG! You are sooooo hilarious! And then, to add to my belly laughs, I read the comments! Thanks for the fun few minutes. Time to get back to the dirty dishes, which I think should be a BOY job when the GIRL makes dinner!!!